What a strange day it's been

Today was odd. Not bad, just odd. My first client this morning is convinced that the Zodiac killer is her neighbor. She called America's Most Wanted because she felt like she had a duty to turn this guy in to the authorities. She spent $50 faxing all of the incriminating evidence from Kinko's. We talked about it for an hour. She's off her meds.

I also had couples' counseling with an 80 year old man and his 50 year old wife. Odd. Then, my last appointment was with a couple my mom's age. They were having sexual problems. I had to give sex advice. That in itself is crazy and uncomfortable.

I get home and the kids are going nuts. They are fighting. They are taking all of their clothes off. They are running around. I send them to bed. C. starts shrieking about needing a drink. I bring him some water. He throws it at me. Apparently he does not want it. I take it away and calmly go downstairs. He starts yelling at the top of his lungs,"I NEED A DRINK!!" Which of course is exactly what I am thinking. Anyhoo, suddenly things get really quiet. Silly me thinks maybe he has fallen asleep. A. comes running down stairs, grinning from ear to ear.
"Mom, C. is pouring water all over the floor." I go upstairs and it is true. C. has filled his Bob the Builder helmet with water and thrown it all over the floor and walls. Surprisingly I am calm. I think I have dissociated. I grab his Thomas the Tank Engine bag and start throwing all of his trains in the bag. I calmly let him know that I am taking his trains.

He FLIPS OUT!! He starts screaming at me,"YOU ARE MAKING ME MAD!! I AM GOING TO POOP AND PEE ON YOU!!! I AM CALLING THE POLICE ON YOU AND THEY WILL TAKE YOU TO JAIL!!" Please take me.

Dukie is also acting oddly. He is an old dog and is probably going blind. I would think he was deaf but he still hears when I open the dog drawer. He has been barking and cowering from me. I called the vet. He thinks Dukie has Doggy Alzheimer's. Just what I need, a dog who is senile. I only hope he doesn't take his clothes off and start trying to break into the neighbor's house.

Where is that drink....