The Things We Do

I am so glad that this weekend is over. I can FINALLY get a break. It started on Friday. I was running late as usual and just threw on some clothes that I thought would be fine. As I checked myself in the bathroom at work I realized that I looked like a Neapolitan ice cream cone. (Not a great look) THEN, my boss came in and gave me a look because I was not complying with dress code. (It had nothing to do with looking like a dessert) I wasn't sure if she was going to give me a demerit.

Work was fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. I had made plans with my sister-in-law and her kids to go see a children's performer that evening. I think his name is Beelzebub or Ballyhoo or Bumble bee or some such nonsense. The kids had a great time. I wanted to pull my eyeballs out of my head, but we made it.

Then Saturday arrived. It was up and out to collect food for the poor with the Daisies. Yepiee! Nothing like spending my morning to sleep in herding little children and listening to the Queen of GMs tell me all about her wonderful children. (The Queen lost my kid last week on a Daisy excursion while I was on my way to Chicago) Due to the incident of the previous week, the Queen lowered herself to speak with me. She kissed my butt. I have to say that I enjoyed her pain.

After Daisies it was off to softball. I have to hand it to those coaches. I cannot IMAGINE trying to herd all those girls and actually trying to teach them something. Hats off and appreciation to you! I do not know the moms for the softball team. Saturday was my first chance to make a good impression. I already don't like one of them. I think the moms thought I was evil due to the fact that I wouldn't take A. to the bathroom. It was all about natural consequences. I begged her to use the bathroom before we left. She wouldn't. I told her if she had to go while at practice we would have to leave. She had to go. I told her to hold it or we needed to leave. She held it. I had some looks, but I am used to that.

The other problem was A. She is an eager, competitive kid. Two things I don't get. Anyhoo, she was bugging the crap out of me because I could see her bugging the coaches. I pulled her off the field at one point because I couldn't take it. I'm glad she wants to learn and blah, blah, blah but for GOD'S SAKE, quit being a pain in the ass. We had a nice long talk about sportsmanship and being a good team member. Hope it works.

So, Sunday rolls around and we go to a carnival at the university next to our house. I know this is difficult to believe but I HATE CARNIVALS. My OCD tendencies go into overdrive. I can't take the filth. There is also the one eyed man leering at my children and the obese woman screaming at the kids that push me to my breaking point. The kids had fun. At one point C. got stuck in a jungle gym with balls and ropes and tunnels. Of course, I had to go in. I got stuck. I felt like Pooh Bear stuck in the hole. By the time I reached him he was unstuck and having a great time. I , however still had to get out.

Finally I volunteered to help my friend take twelve 8-year old boys to a birthday party at the Laser Tag place. I don't think I need to go into an explanation about what a living hell that was.

But I made it. Next weekend I get to do it all over again.