Don't hate on me

I still got it. That's what I got to say. I usually only "have it" with old black men at gas stations but today I "got it" with young ex-cons. C. and I were driving in the Mom-mobile, minding our own business, when this truck pulls up next to me. I glance over and see this young man with what look like prison tattoos all over his arms and face. I quickly re-focus on the road ahead. He pulls up next to me. I glance over again, he gives me the "Wassup" head nod. I notice a tear drop tattoo on his cheek. If I remember my prison tattoo guide that either means, he's killed someone or he is someone's bitch. I don't believe it means he's just a sad kind of fellow.

I become very uncomfortable with this scenario, so I let him pull ahead of me. C. is in the back blabbering about Hot Wheels. We pull up to a light and the young man is in front of me. I notice that he is staring at me in his side view mirror, making what seem to be kissing faces. Oh my!! I am not used to this type of male attention. I feel flustered. We go on down the road and pull up to another red light. I try not to look over. He is revving his engine trying to get my attention. I look out of the corner of my eye to see him staring at me. Should I give him my number? He's so dreamy!! Instead I give him the "stink eye" and the finger. I am not a MILF so this will likely be the closest I come to being picked up for awhile. I mean until I go to the gas station again.

Fat Bastard

Sooooo, I am driving carpool this morning and listening to the radio. Before I can change the station, the DJ starts talking about Austin Powers and Fat Bastard. He says, Fat Bastard....wait for it wait for it...."Mom, what's a bastard and why do they call him fat?" Of course I am calm and explain," IT IS A DIRTY WORD!! IT IS VERY BAD AND WE NEVER SAY IT OR ASK ANYONE AT SCHOOL OR TELL OUR MOM WHERE WE HEARD IT!!!!" I have to really get better at thinking on my feet.

Unfortunately, this is the only thing I have had to blog about since last month. I went on an awesome overnight but everyone who reads my blog was there, so there is no point. They were there and witnessed me in all my drunken glory. Luckily for them I don't remember much of what they did that was blogworthy. I do have to send a big ole thank you to those girls who didn't let me sleep on the bathroom floor. Talk about friends.

We went to see Kids in the Hall last night and I laughed so hard I got the hiccups. At the end of the show, they panned the audience and settled on the one guy I went to college with. He was kind of a jerk so it made me LAUGH when I realized that he looked an awful lot like Fat Bastard!