Touching

I went to Early American Day at A's school yesterday. As usual, I was ignored by most of the mother's, which was just fine by me. However, there was something in the air that I could not put my finger on. I seemed to be very touchable to some people. I do not believe that I give off that feeling. I believe that I probably encourage people to stay away. That's my intent anyway.

At three different times someone, a virtual stranger, put their hands on me. A's first grade teacher rubbed my back while she was talking to me. Not like a massage, but the way you rub your kid's back. Then two different women put their hand on my arm while they were talking to me. I was taken totally off guard. How do you politely tell a perfect stranger if they want to keep their hands they had better keep them off me?

What not to wear...

The outfit I had on today. I don't know where in my eyes it looked nice. It didn't. I was that woman in the bad outfit, trying to look good but just missing it. I got dressed today and left the house and I resembled a walking poo stick. Brown on brown on brown is not always a good choice.

Just call me "Cookie"

Have you ever had one of those days when you can't pull your head out of your ass? I had that one today. I received a phone call from one of GMs today. I was walking into class and had the misfortune of answering the phone, thinking it was C.'s school.

"Shannon, this Mary. I need to ask you a favor."
(CRAP CRAP CRAP)
"What can I do for you?"
"We need someone to be the cookie manager for the brownie cookie sale and I was hoping that you could volunteer."
(THINK FAST THINK FAST NOOOOOOOOOO!)
"Well, ummmmmm, I don't think I can with my schedule for next semester."
(Working mom has got to get me somewhere.)
"Well, Shannon, everyone is busy and I didn't want to ask some of the other mothers because they already do so much at the school."
(SHE'S SLAMMING MY NON VOLUNTEERISM!! I AM DOING EARLY AMERICAN DAY!!)
"Well, ummmmmmmm, if you can find someone to help me I guess I can do it even though...."
"GREAT!! There's a meeting next week. Have a good day!"
SHE FREAKING HUNG UP!!!

After some contemplation I decided to take matters into my own hands and called a mother that I can stand and told her if she didn't help me that I would find incriminating information and black mail her. Reluctantly she agreed.

So, I am the cookie lady. I fear that this may be the lowest I have sunk.

"Motivationally Challenged"

So, I just got back from C's parent teacher conference. I heard something new today. My son is "motivationally challenged". I looked at the teacher and said, "So, he's lazy." She didn't want to offend me. So I assured her that I am fully aware that my son is lazy. I provided her with the most recent indicator I had of his condition.

On Halloween, my son, daughter and husband went out trick or treating. After about 15 minutes they came back. C. was done. He did tell his sister that she needed to go back out and get him so good candy. He then took off his costume, laid on the couch and watched TV. He's my kid.