Men's fashion

I saw a man this AM. He was wearing red skin tight cropped overalls, with one strap down, Marky Mark style. I'm not sure where the rest of his funky bunch was, but this is a look that I think J. could really pull off....

Hating people II: Electric Bugaloo

So anyhow, these bitches are standing on top of me, truly ignoring me. They start talking about how you can't give money to poor people without telling them what to do with it and how if the guys who play in the NFL weren't football players they would be in jail. Do you think they were talking about Peyton Manning? Don't think so. I could not believe the stupidity that was spewing from their lips. I tapped one of them on the shoulder and said, "What Would Jesus Do if HE could hear you saying these things....shame on you."

Okay we all know I just walked away, rolled my eyes and made fun of them in my head. My Polly Pocket mom wasn't there to distract me. So they continued with their senseless banter by complaining about the other parents who were killing the environment by sitting in their cars running the air conditioning. These are the same women who will WALK down to their Lincoln Navigators and Cadillac Escalades five minutes later.

The bumper sticker says...Hate is not a family value...it is in my family!

If I were a bat would I want to live here?

No, probably not. You get squashed with a tennis racket.

So here's what happened and then I'll continue my rave about people I hate:
As you know I am sitting at the computer blogging when A. comes flying up the stairs, screaming that there is a bat in the basement.

I run over and slam the basement door. I hear it screeching. I grab the kids, run upstairs into my bedroom, slam the door and lock it. (Bats are notorious for maneuvering door knobs) I call J. who does not give me the sympathy I need. He has to call me back. He can't deal with this right now. FINE!!!! I can handle this. I can be the grown up in this scenario.

I gather some towels to cover the bottom of the door. I kiss my children and tell them I will return and to stay here where it is safe. I tiptoe downstairs. I run and lock the basement door (you would hate for him to sneak up on you because you didn't lock the door...I've seen horror movies) and throw the towels under the door. I race upstairs, grab the kids and get out of the house.

J. calls a couple hours later, harummphing because he has to get this bat. He is acting as though I had forgotten and left the bat gate open and one got in. I DIDN'T DO THIS!!!! He doesn't even understand the danger his son and I were in. We napped on the couches this afternoon with a bat in the house. He could have eaten our faces off while we slept. Does J. seem concerned, NO!!! I hung up on him.

About twenty minutes later he calls again to let me know that it is safe to come home. He has disposed of the intruder. He apologizes for his bad mood. I can forgive.

So we get home, kids are taking a bath. C. is getting dressed. I say to him," Did you fart or is your breath stinky?" He puts his butt in my face and says, "I don't know, how does it smell?"

I had forgotten...

How much I HATE those stupid women at A.'s school. I walked up to the pick up spot today and was instantly surrounded by the "look a like" moms. They were not surrounding me, per se, I just happened to be in the shade, where they were interested in standing. Of course, it would be beneath them to say excuse me, so instead they simply stood in my personal space. With their backs to me, of course.

They all look the same. They have the same "work out" outfit on, the same stylish sunglasses, the same golden retriever and the same shade of blonde hair. I honestly cannot tell them apart.

OH MY GOD !!! THERE"S A BAT IN THE BASEMENT >>>>>GOTTA GO!

I HATE PEOPLE!

Man, I hate people. I just ran to the mall with C. He's got a bug in his biscuits about something. Anyhoo, he jelly legs me and starts throwing a fit. I pick him up under my arm so he can't kick me and carry him out. On the way out, I overhear an older woman saying to her husband, "I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DON"T DISCIPLINE THEIR KIDS!"

What the hell did she want me to do? Throw him on the ground, snatch off my belt and whip his biscuits right there? I was good and kept walking.

All the way home, C. is telling me that he is going to hurt my feelings and hurt everyone in the world's feelings. He storms upstairs and tells me that I can't come in. SOUNDS FRIGGIN AWESOME TO ME!!!

LORD HAVE MERCY!!

It was brought to my attention that I have not written in over a month. So here I am. A lot of nothing has happened since July 15th.

Quick rundown:
1. Was singled out by a fruit sniffing dog in Mexico.
2. Gained 10 pounds that is not coming off.
3. Joined an on-line weight loss group through my GH message board.
4. Found out my son pooped on a public sidewalk.
5. Realized my father is NOT a good companion on road trips.
6. I do not like Traveling J.
7. If I don't talk to my friends in a month, go to book club and drink too much I get diarrhea of the mouth. (Sorry bout that ladies)
8. I can waste a lot of time doing nothing productive.
9. I am addicted to my GH message board.
10. I have two more weeks til summer is officially over!!!

I am back to school and have 80 students this semester. It's going to be a lot of work. ( Nothing positive is coming next.) It's just going to be a lot of work.