Anatomy of a Bad Day

5:00 AM: You are pulled from a deep sleep by a four year old in wet pajamas.
5:15 AM: You are doing a load of laundry because he just peed in the only set of clean sheets.
5:30 AM: You are encouraging, pleading, threatening that four year old to go back to sleep
5:35 AM: You give up and tell him that as long as he plays quietly he can play in the playroom.
5:35-6:35: You hear various crashing noises, but believe if you ignore it, the noise will stop.
6:35: Your idiot brother calls. He forgets about the hour time difference. He forgot to get a gift for your daughter. He'll send you a check. You know that pigs will crap on you from heaven before that happens.

6:40AM: You go downstairs to make coffee. You hear your six year old and four year old fighting.
6:45AM: You question child abuse laws.
7:00AM: You see your children attempting to kill a bug as they throw themselves against walls and into tables and crashing on to toys.
7:15AM: You go back downstairs and wonder if it is too late to consider adoption.


9:00AM You get everyone to school. You arrive at your place of business and recognize that the pits on your new shirt are very visible and that if you lift up your arm, your class will be able to see your underwear and stretchmarks. You realize for the rest of the day you will be walking like robot.

9:15AM: You realize that you never printed out the quiz you were going to hand out.
9:30 AM: You wing it and have to write the questions on the board. Unfortunately you have the 9:00 problem, so you can only write half way down the board and everyone is complaining that they can't see the questions.

11:30: cell phone vibrates on the podium. You don't recognize the number so you ignore it.
12:15: You retrieve your messages to find out that your four year old had an allergic reaction and that the school has been calling all over town looking for a parent. (Good mother award) By the time you reach the school, they have given him Benadryl and he's passed out on the couch in the director's office. You ask if you can pick him up after your last class.
12:30: You realize it was picture day today and that although he made it to school with no marks on his face, that he had his picture taken in the middle of an allergic reaction. (His photo album is going to be an interesting story of injury and illness)

2:00: You burn yourself with a cigarette that you are not supposed to be smoking.
4:30: You fight with your six year old about homework. Again you contemplate child abuse laws.

8:00: You settle down to watch TV and unwind only to find that your significant other beat you to it and is watching a documentary on WWII. He is only willing to change it for the baseball game.

8:53: You decide that this day has sucked and you go to bed.