As most of my friends know, one of my biggest goals in life is to get on Oprah. I really want an Oprah makeover but I am not willing to be naked on national TV and I stopped wearing overalls and Birkenstocks two years ago.
So, how excited was I when they started the "Quit smoking" series? I am a smoker, I can do that. I quit smoking after watching Dr. Oz. I CAN TOTALLY BE ON THE SHOW!!! I am articulate and somewhat amusing, I would be perfect.
I wrote my letter. Now I just have to wait. What happens if I don't hear back? Do I write again? This is my fourth letter to Oprah. Do you think she has a "coocoo" list that I will automatically be forwarded to? I HAVE SOMETHING TO CONTRIBUTE!! PEOPLE CAN LEARN FROM ME!! I CAN CHANGE LIVES!!!
So, we'll see. Hopefully I won't have to tell the whole nation that I had to stop taking Chantix because I couldn't poop. What am I gonna wear? Maybe they could do a smoker's makeover. OH THE POSSIBILITIES! Please, Oprah, call me back.
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2 comments:
A few ideas:
Write a check for $10,000, tear it in half, and write another letter to Oprah on one half. Make it look almost accidental. Then you will be on the show. As long as you don't forget to bring the other half of the check with you to Chicago.
Another idea is to send an audition video, like they do for reality TV shows. In the video you should be doing something embarassing like walking down a crowded street with your underwear on the outside of your pants. This way they will know that you have what it takes to be a star.
There is an Obama angle here, to, but I can't nail it down.
What about underwear on the head? Good thoughts are a brewing!!!
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