Soccer, smoking and Girl Scout Cookies

So, yesterday was my QUIT DAY. Nothing to report other than it sucks.

We collected the forms for the cookie sale this week. Of course, there was one family that couldn't get it in on time. The mom called three times and said she was bringing it right over. She never showed. I saw her at Trivia Night (which by the way I rocked with my useless knowledge), she stopped me and said she'd bring it. She never brought it, SO I BROUGHT IT!!

I showed up at her house unannounced in my shin guards. I was ready for a fight. Gimme my dang cookie forms! I think she was intimidated by me standing there in shin guards. She didn't know I was on my way to soccer. I got my form, no excuses.

I arrive a little late for soccer, due to the "rough up" on the way. I was glad because I got to be on the team without Trucker Tammy, the bitch from last game. She scares me in the way that big mean women with bad hair and small woman complexes can. The only problem is that she could hurt me now that I was on the other team. She scowled at me and said, " PUT ON A RED JERSEY YOU'RE LATE!" She wasn't yelling, she was barking.

So, I played soccer. I got knocked down twice and have turf burn(that friggin hurts). I did unintentionally head the ball. Mostly I was just moving so I didn't "face" the ball. It made me look like I knew what I was doing. Trucker Tammy elbowed me a couple of times, but the cool thing is that big women with bad hair tend not to move as fast. I got around her and took my shot....the ball went under my foot and I fell on my ass. So much for my "SO THERE, BOITCH" moment.

I was then moved to defense. Not as much ball control needed there. I just have to stand in the way. The goalie kept yelling at me to "settle the ball". What the hell does that mean? Do I talk to it, reassure it, WHAT?

Finally the game was over and I was in better shape than I had been. My legs were tired but not spazzing and there were no pain induced hallucinations.