You would be wrong. J. and I went to a Halloween party this weekend. It was hosted and attended by parents from A.'s school. The theme was movie themes or celebrities. J. and I racked our brains for weeks trying to come up with the perfect costumes.
For some reason, adult women believe that Halloween is the one time of the year that it is okay to dress like their inner slut. Unfortunately for me and J., I have no inner slut. We arrived at the party to find Supergirl in a mini skirt and shiny knee high boots, one of the vixens from the Austin Powers movie, a buxom Pamela Anderson, a pregnant Britney Spears in a short skirt and even Marge Simpson in a strapless dress. I arrived wearing a potato sack.
J. and I decided to go as characters from Monty Python's Holy Grail. He was the Black Knight and I was King Arthur. J. even had some sex appeal. When wearing the black mask, he looked like a one armed dominatrix. I carried a white bunny. There was one other woman dressed as a man. She was the police officer to her husband's Larry Craig. However, even she looked like a feminine cop. I was wearing a potato sack. Did I mention that the potato sack also stunk? At one point, someone sniffed my costume.
(Getting the bunny was a feat in itself. A. wouldn't let me borrow it. I tried to guilt her but it was a no go. When I went to get the babysitter, J. put the kids to bed. I waited until she was asleep, snuck in and stole it. Sad.)
We had fun at the party. Everyone thought I was Joan of Arc. Once I explained who I was I got to listen to every quote from the movie. There was a creepy man in a spandex Spiderman costume. He was about 4 foot tall and followed me around all evening quoting the movie. Weird.
Finally, at the end of the evening, it was time to call it a night. There was definitely going to be fantasy sex happening at various homes. Husbands were filling their wives' drinks at a frightening rate. J. and I went to Del Taco for chili cheese fries.
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