Hugs not Drugs

A. can read. This is starting to pose an issue for me. Driving home last evening we passed a DARE poster.
(wait for it, wait for it....thanks Dee for that precise description of what the process of a child thinking feels like)

A: Mommy, what are drugs?
Me: (pretending not to hear her to buy some more time)
A: Mommy, what are drugs?
Me: Well, they are things that people use and it makes them do bad things.
A: What kind of bad things?
Me: Ummmm (wishing a Shrek song would come on for a distraction)
Sometimes when people use drugs they steal and lie and hurt people.
A: Is there a store where people buy drugs?
Me: (how do I explain the whole "dealer" concept to a seven year old) No, honey, someone has to go to a person called a dealer. That very bad person sells them drugs. (remembering that her father used to sell pot in college)
A: What do drugs look like?
Me: They can be a pill or a powder or something that looks like a cigarette. (geez girl give your momma a break)
A: Why do drugs make people do bad things?
Me: Well, drugs make your brain think differently and so some people will do bad things. IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO TAKE DRUGS! YOU WILL GO TO JAIL!!! (want to get that out so C. hears its)
C. then interjects: I won't take drugs because it will make my brain not be a circle anymore.
Me: ummm, okay.
C: Master Splinter (from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) blah, blah blah blah Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles blah blah blah (he may already be on drugs)
A: Can kids go to jail?
Me: (now I gotta explain the whole concept of juvenile detention) Yes, it is called juvenile hall.
A & C: (in unison) juvenile hall?
Me: (this is getting out of control) Yes, juvenile hall.
Me: If someone ever tries to give you drugs you just say no and then tell an adult.
A: What if someone throws drugs at me and I get powder all over me? Will I go to jail?
ME: Well, no one will throw drugs on you. (they cost too much)

Then as if God was looking down on me and decided that I suffered enough A. got a new thought:

A: Mom, can I wear my costume when we get home?