Careful what you wish for...

For the past two weeks I have been counting the days until I could go back to work. Tuesday, I went. My new babysitter started, I had a new outfit, a new attitude. I was ready. I walk in the door and my cell phone starts ringing. It's the babysitter. C. just threw up. A GM would have turned around and gone home. But we all know that I am not a GM, so I asked about a fever and told her I'd call her back in an hour. I didn't go home. He was FINE!

Yesterday I had a 12 hour day. For the ninth time since 1993 I had to take a self defense course at my job. It hasn't changed in 9 years. I guess I was hoping that maybe they would teach us how to defend ourselves against an eye poke or a wedgie. Nope, just chokes and whatnot. I could have easily fallen asleep if it had not been for the overly enthusiastic attendee sitting directly next to me. She talked and asked questions and made us stay over for 20 minutes. NOT AMUSED!! I needed to return some shoes to Marshalls. I did not have time for her banter. I gave her "the look" and was tempted to flick her ear every time she opened her mouth, but decided against it. There were a lot of really stupid people in this training. My only advice is stay out of psych units.

I finally got to work. My clients were the same. Not much had happened in the month that I was gone. Until I got a new client. He was about my age and relatively attractive, but there was something odd about him. Couldn't put my finger on it. I started the interview to find out that the reason he is odd looking is that he a cross dresser. He considers himself trans-gendered. He is currently going through a divorce (shocker). He's a carpenter by day and a femme by night. His eyebrows had a better arch than mine.

Anyway, cross dressing is not that odd in my business. What is odd is that he also makes armor and is a Civil War buff. He's facing domestic violence charges because during an argument, his wife called the police. When the police arrived, he ran into the woods, carrying a musket and a sword. Odd. When he was taken to jail, it was discovered by the jail officials that he was wearing pink ladies' underwear under his clothing. Odd.

Apparently he is into S&M but just the equipment and not the sex. He found his cross dressing "Big Sister" through this group. The "Big Sister" makes whips and other things for a living. Did you know that these groups have monthly meetings just like the Knights of Columbus? I wonder what their secret handshake is. Again, odd. He's also a Wicken. For some reason, he does not believe that any of these things will make him look bad in a custody dispute in rural Missouri. Odd.

He liked my sling backs.