Wilderness Tips

I made it. I spent the weekend convening with nature. I hate nature. Animals scare me, bugs bite me and the bon fires make me a nervous wreck. We went to the lake where J. keeps his boat. He has had this boat for 6 years. This is the first time I have seen it. It's a decent boat. I didn't get on it. My poor little heart could only take so much. I did almost rip my hamstring as I placed one foot on the boat and one foot on the dock. The boat started moving. I was splitting in half.

J. and the kids and I were separated. It was fine but it would have been better if we had been together. I didn't realize how annoying other people's routines are. Once again, why can't everyone do things the way I do?

By Saturday night I was ready to go home. I was tired and dirty and hadn't pooped in two days. There was a shower but I chose not to use it. I was rank by Sunday. The kids had a great time and I think J. did too. I survived. There were a couple of close calls. Besides the boat moving out from under me I had a harrowing experience with an animal.

I was walking to the dumpster to throw out the incredible amount of garbage, when I spotted something moving. Heart rate increased, slowed my pace. Out of the brush came the LARGEST critter I have ever seen. He must have been 5 ft tall and 100lbs. He stared into my eyes. A chill ran down my spine as I stared back. My eyes told this creature that he would not win. I am going to throw this trash in the appropriate receptacle. I am not a litter bug. Don't push me when I am so close to the edge. I said with my eyes. He turned and went back into the forest. Okay, so it was just a raccoon. But I still stared him down. Okay I didn't stare him down, I stood very still until he scampered off.

C. had a great time squirrel hunting and fishing. He didn't get that you can't just say,"Here fishy, fishy" and the fish come to you. A. did catch a fish. She was so excited!

The discussion at the end of the trip revolved around next year. CRAP!