Can I get an AMEN!?!

A. had a Girl Scout Mass this morning. Luckily just she and I went. The place was a madhouse. Kids screaming, no seats and me wishing I was anywhere else. I was sitting close to the front, not my usual space, when a mother that I know came in with her baby and sat down next to me. We exchanged pleasantries and then she mentioned that her husband and three year old were also coming. "We'll just scoot together." There was no room for two more people in the row, so I graciously said, "No, no. I'll move and go sit in the back." She went NUTS! She gets a death grip on my arm and says in a loud voice," NO! WE WILL ALL SIT TOGETHER!" At this point I'm a little freaked. So in my best social worker voice I say," I will fight you here in the middle of church. I will go sit in the back, it's really not a big deal." We struggled and I finally was able to get out of her grasp. Now mind you the priest has just walked down the aisle and Mass is starting when all of this is transpiring.

I found my seat in the back and settled in for an hour of daydreaming. However, the priest was new and I think he thought he was at a Southern Baptist church. At the end of one of the prayers the congregation says "Amen". There's nothing to get excited about. We all just go through the motions. Well Father Jump Back, calls out,"Let me here you say AMEN!" We all just kind of look at each other. Again we say Amen. "That's not enough. GIVE ME AN AMEN!" With all the excitement a bunch of Catholics in a packed church with a bunch of screaming kids could muster, we tried to feel it. Amen. He gave up for now.

As the Mass went on he gave a really LONG homily about nothing in particular. I spent the twenty minutes watching this father try to quietly yet forcefully discipline his three year old. IT was exactly why my three year old was at home with his dad. During the communion hymn, the organist caught Father Jump Back's spirit and did a little Jerry Lee Lewis. Where the hell am I? Father Jump Back gave it one more shot. At the end of the mass, at his farewell blessing, he asked for another Amen and then another and then he just gave up. We're just not that kind of people.

After the revival we went to the cafeteria for coffee and donuts. DAMN!!! I just wanted to go home. But I put on my BIG smile and fake laugh. We fought through the crowd to get A. her donut. She sat with her friends and laughed and smiled. I stood in the corner smiling like an idiot. I talked to a few people and said hello. You would have all been proud. I guess the spirit moved me.