Huggy Bear, where were you?

J. and I went to a party this weekend. (Happy Birthday T.) It was a good party, with one exception. I had to hug a lot of people. Why? Why? Why? I am not a huggable person. I'm the one who hesitates when you come at me with open arms. I'm the one who does the pat, pat, pat on the back and pulls away. I'm the one who sticks out my hand when I see the arms opening. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HUG ME? Especially the people I don't see on a regular basis. There's a reason we don't see each other very often. We don't really like each other, so why the hug?

Anyhoo, the party was fun and I was on good behavior. I stopped drinking before I got in a wreck (J. purposely parked away from the metal horses in the road), poked my eye out or peed my pants. I hugged all the people I was supposed to hug and spoke in a reasonable volume tone. However, at one point I was pushed too far. There is a woman that is dating a friend of ours that no one likes. For some reason, Flopsy and I were standing listening to her drone on about something and I mentioned that I needed to smoke. She contorted her face, so she looked as though I had just smeared fecal matter on her upper lip, and said,"You know it's an addiction when you're willing to go outside when it is so cold." REALLY, REALLY? I know it's an addiction because I've been smoking for 18 years! What I wanted to say, but didn't, was "You know you're annoying when someone would rather go outside when it is so cold than to have to listen to you!!!"

Flopsy shushed me as I started to rant. Thank you.