Sex and the ugly person

I realize that everyone, no matter how unattractive, is having sex. You can tell by the number of ugly people in the world that they seem to have a lot more than the average person. As a therapist I listen to a lot of stories about a lot of things. It never ceases to amaze and sicken me the amount of sex I have to hear about. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be caring and that sex is a part of life. BUT COME ON, we all have our limits. I am getting much better at disguising my "I smell poop" face when this is the topic of conversation, but yesterday my limits were pushed.

Session with Client A:
A: Do you think I am fat?
S: (yup) How do you feel about your weight?
A: (LIFTING UP HER SHIRT, NOT ONCE BUT THREE TIMES TO PROVE TO ME THAT SHE IS FAT) I think I'm fat and my boyfriend thinks I am fat.
S: (Swallowing my vomit and rubbing my eyes--they're kinda burning) Does he tell you that he thinks you're fat?
A: (This is when she lifts her shirt the second time) Well, while we are having sex he grabs my belly. I mean I never tell him he has gross teeth.
S: (Deep breath, stop the visualization it will only cause nightmares)
A: Another thing is that I think he's been ya know, messed with.
S: Why is that? (don't wanna know, don't wanna know)
A: He's not very sexual. He's never gone "down there". (She then sticks her tongue out) I'm clean down there. He also doesn't like when I put my face in his crotch. What do you think? Do you think he's been messed with?
S: (Trying NOT to bug my eyes out. I just know that my ears are bleeding. My stomach is churning. I HAVE TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!!) Well, Client A, I think that people just have different comfort levels with sexual activity and perhaps you are not compatible. I don't think it means that he has been abused.
A: Well I guess maybe I'm just a little freaky in the bed.
S:(Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything) I think that maybe you just have different ideas. Maybe that is something you can work on together.
A: So, you don't think it's because I'm fat (UP GOES THE SHIRT AGAIN!!)
S: I don't believe that would be the case.

FINALLY the session was over and I felt like washing my ears and eyes out with acid.
Then comes Client B:

Client B: How do you tell someone that they smell like, you know, Number 2?
S: Pardon me?
B: I work with this guy who smells like he is leaking. You know, like when you have to go Number 2 but you don't and you just leak.
S: ( No actually I don't.) Well, I guess it would probably be best to pull him aside and let him know that he does not smell very good. Try not to embarrass him.
B: I kinda told him that.
S: What did you say?
B: I told him to go take a shit.

So, my friends, how was your day?