My fear of geese

There have been questions regarding my seemingly irrational fear of geese. It's time to tell the whole story.

Once upon a time there was a sixteen year old girl who lived in Texas. She just got her driver's license and with nowhere really to go, she and her friend went to a little pond inside an unfinished subdivision to smoke cigarettes and talk about what sixteen year old girls talk about.

One day, while at the pond the young girl decided to feed the ducks, fish and geese that also congregated at this pond. Everything started out fine. The animals were orderly and gracious for their snacks....until... the food was gone. It was at that time that the geese began to chase this young girl and her friend. They were hissing and flapping and charging. They surrounded the car. The girls were forced to climb on the hood of the car to avoid the vicious attack. The friend began throwing things at the geese, hoping to trick them into leaving. These geese were no fools. They knew the difference between lipstick and bread. Luckily the sun roof of the car had been left open and the girls were able to climb into the car.

Eventually the geese flipped off the girls and called them some nasty names and they left. The girls were able to return home relatively unscathed other than the psychological scars that have never healed.

I felt like I had gotten past this fear of geese until an incident last spring. While attempting to enter my place of business I noticed a VERY large goose standing in front of the door. Apparently she had decided to build her nest in front of the door. She was angry that day my friends. As I approached, I attempted to talk myself through the irrationality of my fear. Once I got within 10 feet of her, she began cursing me out in goose, "Come one step closer bitch and I'll peck your mother fucking eyes out!" With my heart racing and palms sweating I retreated to my car. I could hear her yelling after me,"Damn right, you better run!"

As I was sitting in my car I thought that maybe I could conduct therapy in my car. It could be a mobile unit. No, that wouldn't work. Maybe I would just call in sick. Then I remembered the back door of the building. I was able to go to work and help people with problems. Ironic? By the end of my day the goose had been removed. Who's laughing now?

So, hopefully that explains that though a fear of geese seems irrational, when you are me it makes perfect sense.